There is a special place reserved in hell for people that poke on Facebook. And perhaps for thousands of flight attendants ushering folks on and off planes, a similar spot is awaiting the poking passenger. I am guilty of this. More so nudging than poking, but guilty nonetheless. At the time, my actions seemed like the easiest way to get the attendant’s attention, but in retrospect, “My bad, fam.”
Staying on topic, during a completely unscientific survey conducted by TravelCoterie, we learned poking is one of the things universally despised by flight attendants. A few other FA pet peeves were also revealed, so keep these things in mind the next time you’re up in the air.
1. KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELf, DONALD.
“Please don’t touch us,” says one airline employee. “DO NOT POKE US!” another adds. “Don’t touch the flight attendant: poking, prodding or grabbing the flight attendant are all unacceptable,” one more chimes. We get the point. We’ll keep our hands to ourselves, that’s what the call button is made for.
2. DON’T ABUSE THE CALL BUTTON
There are times the collection of call buttons going off on a flight sound like an instrumental to a Young Thug record, but it shouldn’t. “Please don’t ring the call button for a Coke, headphones, to hand us trash, to ask about your connection or generally any other reason other than you are having an emergency situation,” one aviation professional tells TC. “The call light is for ‘help,’ not for drink refills,” a second adds. “It’s a nonstop flight, not nonstop service.”
3. THIS IS NOT WHOLE FOODS
Believe it or not, there are some passengers requesting whacky sh*t like coconut water on flights. “Bring your own juice and milk for your kids or food for your/their special diet. We are not a restaurant and have limited supplies on board,” a stewardess divulges. “Come prepared to meet your own special needs. If your baby NEEDS milk, bring it. If your life is going to be ruined without Splenda in your coffee, bring it. If your tea can only be perfect with honey, bring it … if you have dietary restrictions or medical conditions that dictate what and when you can eat, come prepared to take care of those needs,” another shares. And in simpler terms from a different employee: “Please don’t ask us if we have coconut water, mango juice, Kombucha or soy milk. This is not Whole Foods.”
4. THEY’RE CLUELESS
… about where the hell plane is at every given moment. Says one airline employee, “Flight attendants have NO CLUE where we are unless the pilot just said so, and in that case, we still don’t know because we tune them out to hear YOU, our ‘guests.’ If you ask me when we’ll cross the state line, I have been known to make something up.” Flight attendants are not pilots, and they’re not in the cockpit. Thankfully, most planes have live maps to answer that question more accurately so lay off using your call button to help geo tag your Snapchat and IG posts.
5. ABOUT THOSE DELAYS
“We have families, pets, homes and lives outside of work too. We have empathy for you. We don’t want to be delayed either but we want to get home safely to our loved ones,” are the words of our final flight attendant surveyed for this article.
And there you have it! Knowledge to make ensure everyone is happy on their next flight: not just the passengers.